Volitive selflessness, I think that’s the definition of love. I may be wrong. But considering that most people are born narcissists, to love another person then requires a detachment from oneself. It involves a lot of effort on both parts. To be completely detached from oneself and to be attached to another human, then, is the goal of love, consequence notwithstanding. When two people decide to truly love each other their universe appears bigger, their experience of life lasts longer, their pain is less severe because it’s shared and most importantly their joy is frequent because there are multiple sources. This is possible only when two souls are sharing a single ‘self.’
I’m imperfect and exact.
I have no idealism within me, only raw
Passion – wild and lively and a little crazy.
I talk when excited or agitated.
But most of the time I’m quiet.
I know what I want and that is you.
I still have the list of things I like about you.
I know winning your trust will not be easy.
But I hope you don’t misunderstand me.
Imperfect love, that I can give you.
There were those who never found love, my darling,
Who opposed our union and pronounced every evil wish,
One after another – upon us.
But O my, we would laugh.
It all adds up to the madness of love.
The smile in your face wakes me
From life’s terrible nightmares.
Your voice and touch, so gentle but electrifying.
We would hold each other tight – laughter and whispers.
In the morning we will sit by the sea – half nude.
And watch the passing flock of swans across the yellow glowing sun.
We would drink cheap wine to celebrate our new found love.
Those who are still sane and therefore single,
They will be consumed by their narcissism.
Love puts a check on self-love.
According to scientists, a human being is a highly social animal (specifically belonging to the class of mammals) who sometimes feels like he or she is a god. But we are different from gods or rather dogs in that we sometimes bite our friends and wag at our enemies. For most people, the older we grow the less amusing we become and therefore the less friends we have. But it is important not to lose your sense of humour which prevents realists, like me, from being jaded. Moreover, humour itself doesn’t start adult friendship; it is mutual hatred or mutual love or mutual interest in something that does.
In view of heightened social media activities and inordinate suspicion which emanates from self-centredness, people are likely to substitute real friendships with online friendships. I am not saying making friends online is not fun. It is a great way of meeting similar minded people and sharing ideas. I have met some amazing people online whom, but for distance, I would have preferred them to be physically available.What is the point of making numerous friends online knowing you will never get to meet any?
I must say that a friend in real life is nothing like a friend online. Facebook does not even notify you when someone “unfriends” you. A substitute is not the same as the real thing. A friend is someone who is both physically and emotionally available in both good and bad times. A sought of reliable co-pilot, if you like.
When I was younger, I was very sociable and had many friends both at school and at home. With growth came a straight face and infrequent smiles. I guess I may have become aware of some peculiar realities of my life. I still have friends though, but with responsibilities piling up each day, there is just not enough time for hanging out, except on weekends, hence blogging. So what then is the true meaning or value of friendship?
Great friendship unfolds without much awareness. A friend criticizes, sometimes harshly, but in a helpful way, and if you really can’t change something about yourself, he or she still accepts that that’s who you are. This is what I have found to be one thing that runs through all great friendships. True friendship lasts long and is also characterized by people watching eachother’s back. Friends are honest with one another and ensure eachother’s safety or well-being. I mean if they see something wrong, they voice it.
I have seen one thing in internet forums and in news groups, (presumably a western thing) where people actually encourage distorted perspectives without any attempt to correct the person involved. That is sore. That is not ethical. That is not friendship. A real friend drags you to where he knows to be a safe place, against your will, or if out of your rashness you are struggling to jump off the cliff. I think the laws also influence us a lot. Too much personal freedom makes people slaves of themselves.
In spirit of true companionship, we will all be perpetually happy because lasting happiness comes primarily from people not from pets or objects – these are just substitutes and we cling on to them because the world, truly, has become fractured and hostile.