Love of self

Those who have love in abundance do not normally base their love on reason. They love almost spontaneously because they derive some happiness or fulfilment from pouring their hearts out to others. The most impotent and fruitless form of love so far is selflove. It is without friction, as a result it’s like cold ashes and produces no flames. By self love I mean seeing and being concerned with only oneself in the universe.

Black Man’s Sorrow and other Poetry

Let me intoduce my second poetry book dealing with the search for the meaning of life to you. It was originally written in 2014 but was constantly being edited to make sure it comes out tasty and well baked. It covers many themes from the ‘African situation’ to politics to religion to morality to love etc. If you are interested in what I have to say and want to buy it please click here. All proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the CWC Childrens Home, an orphanage in Accra, Ghana, in service of humanity. Have a nice day my dear. You know yourself.

All progress in the ego gradually eliminates the individual from his herd

By ‘progress’ I mean advancement, growth, strengthening etc. This ego which in common language is referred to as ‘the self’ has a very short existence. In fact the very sojourness of our world is the ego metaphorised. The contents of the ego is lost at death. Not a single thought, idea or belief within the ego is passed to one’s offspring. Most individuals with high thinking enter the herd only to dominate or exploit it. Often this fails and the individual is alienated or he alienates himself. Nothing is as repugnant to the herd as selfishness but, then again it depends on inherent thought patterns within the herd. Here again, by ‘herd’ I mean an animal, tribal, communal or societal unit.

The elimination of logic by the herd leaves us with only emotion. The question arises: ‘Can truth come to us through emotion? In other words can there be truth without logic? Within the herd, and supposing that the emotions are in their proper frameworks, then yes! In fact the most discernable truth within and between members of the herd is emotional or instinctive truth. But what we mean by ‘truth’ is too much subjected to arguments. There is correct or incorrect logic but no true logic nor moral logic. This is because logic is a figment of the psychic tree. At the root is the instincts which every living organism identifies with symbolically and which is responsible for herd formation.

The real value of the instincts is in its ability to carry out repetitive instructions from the psyche without getting exhausted. This is where what we call love emanates from. Any form of attraction that seem logical and reasonable (based clearly on external material needs and fulfilment) will quickly lose energy and passion because needs change over time. Love, which requires repetitive actions can only be sustained at the roots, within the emotions, therefore strong bonds occur at an emotional level and it’s supplemented by reason. I’m not sure I’m making sense but I think only emotional discernment can offer us satisfactory answers in our search for the purpose of life.

Volitive selflessness

Volitive selflessness, I think that’s the definition of love. I may be wrong. But considering that most people are born narcissists, to love another person then requires a detachment from oneself. It involves a lot of effort on both parts. To be completely detached from oneself and to be attached to another human, then, is the goal of love, consequence notwithstanding. When two people decide to truly love each other their universe appears bigger, their experience of life lasts longer, their pain is less severe because it’s shared and most importantly their joy is frequent because there are multiple sources. This is possible only when two souls are sharing a single ‘self.’

Imperfect Love

I’m imperfect and exact.
I have no idealism within me, only raw
Passion – wild and lively and a little crazy.
I talk when excited or agitated.
But most of the time I’m quiet.

I know what I want and that is you.
I still have the list of things I like about you.
I know winning your trust will not be easy.
But I hope you don’t misunderstand me.
Imperfect love, that I can give you.

Possibilities

This concerns possibilities in our personal lives and I intend to make it short. Why are some things thought to be possible and others not possible? And yet the opposite often manifests as true. Many of you will remember the door knob in ‘Alice in Wonderland’ when Alice mistook ‘impassable’ for ‘impossible.’ The knob replied: ‘Nothing is impossible.’ I imagine the fuller meaning will be nothing is impossible if you believe in yourself. For instance, most people don’t see any kind of possibility or opportunity in Africa but many are also making a living there and Europeans arrive and depart everyday. A few even naturalize. Real opportunities exist only where there are real problems.

Of course there are limits imposed by actuality on us individually but there is always a way out of every difficulty – it just might take some time. How futile and deficient one’s efforts will be if one is looking for a job but already believes that jobs don’t exist – looking for lasting happiness but already believes that happiness is an illusion – looking for genuine love but already believes there is no such a thing as genuine love. It will be impossible. One’s belief system is like a magnetic field, it has to exist and be strong enough to detect and attract what it’s designed to attract.

If we look at our personal lives, everything we have ever achieved is as a result of believing first that, the objective set is achievable. Our field of perception seem stronger and sharper if backed by a strong realistic belief. I’m not speaking of religious jingoism or delusions or infatuation for a pop star, in the case of love. With such strong realistic belief you will not be drawn back by the dark voices that constantly remind you of your past mistakes and tragedies. The more fearful you become in any venture the more errors you will likely commit. And even when it comes to love and relationships, fear and doubt creates misunderstanding. Openness and honesty is key to character.

In the mind, thoughts and feelings are not categorized into social, economic, political etc as we have it in the institutionalized world. So one problem in one aspect of our lives can affect all other areas if not solved. If you were hurt by those who were supposed to love and protect you, still believe you are lovable. If you had an unhappy childhood filled with traumatic events, still believe you can experience peace and happiness and lastly, if you were despised and didn’t get much by way of erudition, still you can earn a living. How else will I know if I had not directly and indirectly experienced most of these. Happy Sunday to all of you! Especially you. You know yourself.